Tavern Regulars Gifts

Sal's recent remodeling accommodated his many beer-gut-impaired customers.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

'It's tough having a casual political discussion these days.'

Man at bar: 'Drinking to forget?' Other man: 'Don't remind me!'

The only "fake news" we care about is fake IDs.

Eating the Cocktail Olive

The bipartisan election cycle: 'Every 2 years without fail, I perform my patriotic duty and vote the bums out.'

Beer $1.00. The painter refinished the bar top and left this place absolutely spotless! He varnished without a trace!

'Bartender! Will you please explain why my gaze has fallen upon a piece of wall not plastered with a blaring high-def TV???'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'One door closed, another opened, and I fell right out the window.'

Two men attempt to use the same snooker cue.

Shanahan's

Hugh - From Barnaby Rudge

'My job is safe. This guy is a regular and he drinks to forget.'

"A bloody Mary, Chuck-weapons grade."

Because it contains thousands of individual characters, burping the alphabet in Japan is truly a glorious achievement.

'Hey you two! Take that outside.'

Bar. I know, I know, you already told me the sword in the stone story.

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

Tavern: Perfect Attendance.

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

Child In A Bar.

"As long as you're over 18, and I'll accept dog years."

Men in bar lament olympic beach volleyball ending 'I miss beach volleyball too.'