Music Store Clerk Pillows

'Look out! He's got a 45!'

Whale buying tape of whale whistling, gets synthesizer instead.

"Piano wire. That would be on isle three."

"He sold out, so he's sold out"

Classical Customer Information - "How long is a piece of string quartet?"

"We don't sell CDs any more, but if you like I could sing some of Adele's greatest hits for you!"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

No Elgar!

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Guitar pickin'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

Zappo's Air Guitars.

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

A man sitting in the grass reading

University Book Store.

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

"This machine isn't killing fascists."

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

Book Store. Information. In what section would I find guides to government regulations? "Books on Red Tape".