Music Store Clerk Pillows

'Look out! He's got a 45!'

Whale buying tape of whale whistling, gets synthesizer instead.

"Piano wire. That would be on isle three."

"He sold out, so he's sold out"

Classical Customer Information - "How long is a piece of string quartet?"

"We don't sell CDs any more, but if you like I could sing some of Adele's greatest hits for you!"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

No Elgar!

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Guitar pickin'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

Zappo's Air Guitars.

University Book Store.

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

At the CD shop.

Music shop's sign: We have 'Sleigh Bells'. Weather Bureau's sign: You're gonna need them.

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

"This machine isn't killing fascists."