Museum Day Gifts

Whale Piñata.

'Beret Night at the Museum'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

At the Museum

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Paul Klee

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'