Muse Guardian Pillows

Art Theft

You're my Mona Lisa.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Deaths from Coronavirus

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

OH NO - Here come the wet-wipes..!!!

"...My daughter, the model..."

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

Spilled Milk

'I've been tagged by a whaling commission, some environment people, a naval research team, a fishing group,some zoologists...'

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

Some people save stamps or coins. I save whales.

Fish Food

Salvador Dali museum

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."

"Sorry, I'm only allowed to save humans, not refugees. Here in the EU we've got humanitarian values, you know?"

"This one I feel like protecting, the others I don't."

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

"Terry had to put his mom in an aquarium."

Museum Guard Portrait

Whale fluke throws plastic waste back onshore.

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

"My pappy built this shell with his bare claws. I'll be damned if some freeloader moves in."

"Have they no shame?"

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

"It is exactly hundred million and four years, 6 months, 2 weeks and 4 days old. I know that because it was a hundred million years old when I started work here..."

Greece Burns

"You notice nobody gives a damn about beached minnows."