Muscle-bound Office Warriors Gifts

Sykes works in our accounts clearing department...

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'Dog eat dog.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I hate Mondays.'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Why am I running?

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Working 9 to 5.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Subordinate Employee

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."