Muscle-bound Office Warriors Gifts

Sykes works in our accounts clearing department...

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'I hate Mondays.'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Why am I running?

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Working 9 to 5.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Subordinate Employee

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."