Murphy's Law Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't have time to explain. Just call the super and tell him the elevator's stuck.'

Exam Period

"Oh, God! It's really been one of those days!"

"I'll bet it waits 'til we're finished milking."

'Soldier, we don't discuss Murphy's Law and the War on Terror in the same breath around here!'

"Typical! Just typical!"

Gone to lunch

"Damn! – I'm allergic to nuts..."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Violent Crime Statistics

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'Center for the Study of Murphy's Law' (Closed today because everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.)

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."