Mummy Maniacs Pillows

'Look, I said I was sorry five years ago. Quit dredging up the past.'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Halloween Selfie

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

"You never know what will catch on!"

Love Hurts

Museum.

Primate Speech Institute. He's learned to talk, but all he'll talk about is the price of bananas.

"Unwrapping a mummy."

"Mummy!

Mummy Tourists

"That's perfect! The bloody door is too small!"

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

Mummy Toilet Roll.

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

Bandaged hospital patient listening to music.

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

The Mummy Returns.

Lox Ness Monster

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."