Mumble Master Gifts

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

The Brothers Grime

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Moo Out Loud

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

When you said the cat was hacking down here, I assumed you meant a hairball.

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Important Muscles.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

'Home haircuts for the family portrait.'

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...

Duplass Brothers

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

"Just when they thought it was safe to go back in the water, the great fish emerged from below."

'Maybe the first couple of times, but believe me, the 'Are you following my Tweets' is no longer funny.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Oh, yes, now I remember. We spoke at the company picnic."

"I'd like a trigger warning."

An Alternative Theory on Custer's Last Stand: 'I said 'retreat' not 'retweet!''

'I'm just not sure he fits in.'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."