Mugshot Fanatic Pillows

"Try and give me... happy."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"You're never home."

"Of course I've been drinking!"

Relaxing in front of a fire.

A good leader should be able to conceive and articulate goals that lift people out of their petty preoccupations...

The Stat-ewe of Liberty.

The Pooperrazzi

"I have to bring him with me otherwise he wouldn't let me indoors."

'Alright, I don't want you raising a stink in here like last time!'

Say, I just had a thought

"Relax, Hargraves, … we're all 'Muckety-Mucks' here."

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

You're only as old as you feel!

"Anyone here a 'worthless, no-good drunken bum'?"

'Let's take another look at the mugshots.'

Which Cup? 'Me' or 'Real Me'?

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

101 uses of a dead cat: slingshot.

'Well I see we both got our ugly sleep.'

'Now that's what I call a trickshot!'

'I wanna buy a muzzle.'

"New around here?"

"So what brings you to this godforsaken end of the bar?"

'Same again.'

'If you're such a great artist how come I can't buy any of your stuff on a mug?'

"It's a mug's game!"

"What do you mean this mug you gave me was a joke?"

Officials finally get tough on former pro athletes gone bad.

Cowboy.

"When I'm legless, make sure to switch me to the cheaper brands..."

'Have you ever considered 'Anger Management' instead?'

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

"Yep, we sure shoulda heeded that sign."

'Mmmm...more laps to sit on...!'