Mr. Darcy Fan Pillows

My mum likes watching costume dramas.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

wattle covers

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

I Pagliacci

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

"I never actually said I was spiderman...I just said that no one has ever seen us in the same room together."

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

Trilby - 'I believe you, my boy!'

'First time skiing?'

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

And I'll tell you another thing that bugs me, he sucks his teeth in his sleep!!

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"

"He says it's 'a Dorian Gray situation.'"

Message for a vampire: 'Gone out, your dinner's on the table.'

"I'll start with a tall glass of O positive."

"Narcissus! Pay attention!"

Cut out and keep your own Mr Darcy!

"You can see why this is my favourite pub for darts!"

Cowboy Darts board: 'DRAW!'

'We can learn a lot about motivation for sports psychology.'

"I said it would grow hair on a billiard ball -- Not on your head."

"But I only wanted a hair transplant!"

"Budget cuts. We replaced the scythes with sporks. Now let's get goin'."

"You don't have to pretend to review data with us, we know we were only along for the milk."

Rapunzel

'You're cheating on me? How can you be so heartless?!'