Mr. Darcy Fan T-Shirts

My mum likes watching costume dramas.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

wattle covers

I Pagliacci

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

"I never actually said I was spiderman...I just said that no one has ever seen us in the same room together."

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

'First time skiing?'

Trilby - 'I believe you, my boy!'

'This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be Iron Man!

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

"I'll start with a tall glass of O positive."

"He says it's 'a Dorian Gray situation.'"

Message for a vampire: 'Gone out, your dinner's on the table.'

And I'll tell you another thing that bugs me, he sucks his teeth in his sleep!!

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"

"Narcissus! Pay attention!"

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your ... did you get a perm?"

Cut out and keep your own Mr Darcy!

Cowboy Darts board: 'DRAW!'

"You can see why this is my favourite pub for darts!"

'We can learn a lot about motivation for sports psychology.'

"I said it would grow hair on a billiard ball -- Not on your head."

"But I only wanted a hair transplant!"

"Budget cuts. We replaced the scythes with sporks. Now let's get goin'."

"You don't have to pretend to review data with us, we know we were only along for the milk."

Rapunzel

I'm glad "Fantastic Four" flopped. It was made by 20th Century Fox. Not Marvel Studios. The "X-Men," "Spider-Man" and "Fantastic Four" movies we've seen for the last 16 years aren't actually real. If a Marvel hero does not exist in the same universe as "The Avengers," then he's just an imposter and I don't care whether he saves his fake world or not. "The Church of Marvel," founded A.D. 2015. You're a false god, Hugh Jackman!