Dorian Gray Fan Pillows

"He says it's 'a Dorian Gray situation.'"

The Fourth Little Pig

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

"Check it out! The big Comic-Con starts this week!"

Moby Dick

This side is the gag reel.

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

100 best beheadings

'Uh-oh... when mom calls me by my full latin species name, I'm in big trouble.'

Ask A Silly Question.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." It's okay for a first draft, Thomas, but it'll be much better if you make it rhyme!

Romulus and Remus

A penguin's life is like endless summer camp, swimming and fishing all day every day!

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

"But what's my motivation?"

Slalom

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

"Gosh, it's hot in Roswell!"

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

Bertolt Brecht

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

'At least he kept his promise not to go to the media or government.'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"Are you not infotained?!!"

Casting Wildlife Films.

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."