Moving To Wisconsin Gifts

Welcome to Wisconsin - Cheese next 367 miles.

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

New Guy.

Allotment

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Country Bumpkin.

Stairlift around cliff face.

'How very Cumbria.'

Bribes for Jabs

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

Thatched roof car.

ONE HORSE TOWN

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

"We should get out to the country more often."

Holiday cottage

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

Tree Squirrel

'Come die with me.'

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

A Gated Community.

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."