Relocating To A New State Gifts

'No-o-o-o! Wisconsin wasn't good enough! You had to insist that we move to Napa Valley!'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

The fate of the emigrant

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Bribes for Jabs

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

You are here.

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

While You Were Out: We Moved!

We never roam anymore.

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Jungle Taxi

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"I found the perfect job! You don't do any work, stay at home, make funny videos, and you get full salary and benefits!!"

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Emigrating to France.