Moving To A New Home With Stairs Pillows

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Doing the borders.

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Lazy Octopus

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Yardless: Please help

"Man's best friends."