Moving South Gifts

Going South.

"Oh sure - you could move to Arizona - but, you wouldn't have our wonderful change of seasons!"

The fate of the emigrant

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

New Guy.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

Annual 'See You In The Spring' Hibernation Party.

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

Don't worry, if things don't work out in America we can always take the Bering Land Bridge back to Asia.

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

'I'm getting rid of a lot of crap as move into the next phase of my life...'

"We tried forming a collective - no leader, no structure, no power dynamics - but we just ended up flying in a circle over Winnipeg."