Moving Into First Home Gifts

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Lazy Octopus

"Man's best friends."

Yardless: Please help

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Painting the Ceiling

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'