Moving In With Partner Pillows

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

LAY ZEE FUK

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"You've changed."

Cat Towels

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Love is when you watch television together.

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Layer cake

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Pyjama party

"You're hogging the covers again!"

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Bed Seasons

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"I'm starting to think stripes."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."