Moving In With A Partner Pillows

"Beware of the cat."

"Me, I became an outdoor cat when her new boyfriend moved in: he smokes in the house..."

LAY ZEE FUK

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Cat Towels

"You've changed."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Love is when you watch television together.

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Layer cake

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Bed Seasons

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"You're hogging the covers again!"

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Pyjama party

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Unconditional Loveseat

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."