Movie Purist T-Shirts

"He's been upset since they colorized 'It's a Wonderful Life,' and I think it's finally pushed Him over the edge!"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Getting to Know You

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Spoiler alert."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

"How can anyone remember Cheech and not remember Chong?"

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Hollywood Breakup

Quentin Tarantino

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

"The cape comes off too."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'