Mountain Top Tracker Gifts

"Guys, my bad... we gotta start over... forgot to turn my fitness tracker on."

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Run from the hills!

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

'Did you try 'Google'?'

Minnesota Weather.

'I know we're not supposed to wear them, but I got it for Father's Day.'

"Sometime, maybe we could run down to Lhasa for some SPICED gruel, huh?"

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

'Excuse me, are you abominable?'

"This year we'll focus on the road, next year we can focus on building the highrise on the mountain."

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

'The Meaning of Life or your life!'

'Hello?...still there?...yeah, sorry, I just had to move to get a better signal.'

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

'Dinosaur footprints!'

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

'You've wasted a lot of time. It's all on my blog.'