Trail Tracker Gifts

You are here.

Confused Tourists

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Hither and Yon sign

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

Nature Lovers

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

'The fact that the expenses process is complicated confusing and bureaucratic isn't an Aberration.'

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

"These, my son, are the tracks of a very dangerous animal we should always try to avoid..."

Confusing directions.

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

"Hey. . . in use!"

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

"Don't look now, but in 3 seconds I want you to very nonchalantly look at my tail and tell me if it's wagging."

Regretfully in/Hopefully Out.

Elephant Tracks.

Orienteering 101

'Well, Mrs.Gurkemiller...Either your female cycle has turned to European summer time, or you're pregnant.'

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

"Here we go, blockbuster season..."

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

'Dinosaur footprints!'

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

'Jury foreman, I'm going to assume that you've reached a verdict.'

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

Tourists