Tail Tracker Gifts

"Don't look now, but in 3 seconds I want you to very nonchalantly look at my tail and tell me if it's wagging."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Cat Zoom Meeting

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

'This is no game! This is who I am!'

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

'No, and I mean it! We just went for a walk an hour ago.'

"It's been one of those days. I don't know if I’ve been chasing my tail or it's been chasing me."

"And here are today's categories...."

NHS targets.

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"We found her wandering at the edge of the forest. She was raised by scientists."

"So what's on the agenda today? Let's see--nap, then count my spots, then nap again, then chase my tale, nap yet again, then beg for good, nap, scratch at the door, finally come in and find a spot to go to sleep. Just not enough time in the day."

"These, my son, are the tracks of a very dangerous animal we should always try to avoid..."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

"I met all my projections. Thank goodness I set the bar low."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"Stop chasing my tail? I'd be lost if I had no goal in life."

Elephant Tracks.

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."