Mountain Meditation Pillows

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"Free why-fi.”

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

Meanwhile...in Albania

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

"The meaning of life is cats."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'I hired a decorator.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'I'm bored...'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

'Let's start with the basics. Find the Red Queen!'

Skiers

Climber to guru: 'Where's the outrage?'

'We DO have a dress code up here, you know!'

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."