Mountain Meditation Maestro Pillows

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Rock Climber

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

Guru.

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

All we have in life is this moment...

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

"Ever since I started Yoga, I don't freeze up as much."

OM, SWEET OM

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

'Are you sure about that? -- It sounds more like Ayn Rand than Buddha.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'Birthdays are like life...the more you have, the more illuminated you become.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Yogi back in 5.

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

"This isn't a bad time to be out of touch with reality."