Mountain Climber Wannabe Gifts

Lance Armstrong.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

The Path

'GESUNDHEIT!!'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Recalculating

Bad times to sneeze

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

Rubbish and Everest

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

"You'll be fine. Just don't look down."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

'What do you mean you 'forgot' the camera?!'

"I like to stay on top of things."

Danger: Falling animals

"I've learned one thing: when an avalanche begins, get into the cave."

''Because It's There' got us up here...you have any ideas how we get back down?'

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"I'm using the ground as a safeguard against plummeting."

'Look! We have ants all the way up here.'

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

"This means that dad is climbing Everest with my cheese and pickle sandwich."

Survival kit

'Nothing can stop us now, Fred...'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"I started out on a molehill - What about you?"