Mountain Biking Maverick T-Shirts

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

...the all-terrain skateboard.

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'First of all, relax.'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

'Have you any W fronts?'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

Ski kicker.

Biker chopper shopper

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Absurd motorbike

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

Expectations vs. Bitterness

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'