Outdoor Maverick T-Shirts

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Cellphone Islands

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'First of all, relax.'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

'Have you any W fronts?'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

Ski kicker.

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

"What are you growing?"

Biker chopper shopper

'before you say 'all this will be yours', I don't want it.'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

Absurd motorbike

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

'Goopta took early retirement.'

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'Now do you believe me about every other driver on the road.'

'How can I be your best friend when you're wearing a $250.00 pair of boots and I'm in my bare feet?'

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"