Outdoor Maverick T-Shirts

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Cellphone Islands

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'First of all, relax.'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Have you any W fronts?'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

Ski kicker.

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

Biker chopper shopper

"What are you growing?"

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

Absurd motorbike

'before you say 'all this will be yours', I don't want it.'

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'Goopta took early retirement.'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

'Now do you believe me about every other driver on the road.'

Expectations vs. Bitterness

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

"You again?"