Motorway Service Maven T-Shirts

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

The day the stock market went UP.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

European currency on the edge.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Time to buy.'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Hooray for Bollywood!

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

'Don't worry dear, I made a bundle shorting your failing financial services company'

Looks like another profit's warning

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'