Motorcycle Rally Fan Pillows

"Well, because today is Friday the 13th."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

The Unsportables: Relay

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

Formula One car origami

"A classic lowrider bike usually is built on a late 1960's Schwinn 20-inch frame."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

Running out of Gas.

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pig Trotter

'You should all be wearing helmets'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

"I want to report a race crime.'

'I believe you were first.'

"He used to own a muscle car."

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

"I don't care if this is better for my back, I'm startin' to feel ridiculous."

The Race

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Dog Scalextric

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

The Wild Won: 'Hey Newtie, what are you rebelling against?'

'And this is our basic model.'

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE