Motorcycle Mischief Maker Pillows

"What a beautiful day! - I think I'll go outside and needlessly rev my motorbike all afternoon. . ."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"Bad dog."

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Less expensive equivalent.

Hallowe'en wake up call

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

'Good morning!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

Squeaker Trophies

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'I was...wong about that stock. I was wonk about that stock. I was wrung about that stock. I was...wronk about that stock. I was...'

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'...and you can take that wag off your tail!'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

The Left One As You Look At It.

Genetic Engineer - 'Can't get the parts mate!'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

'The sport wasn't on your lung...It was on the x-ray...barbecue sauce...please sand by for an apology and a great explanation from my nurse...'

"We haven't left port yet you dozy old duffer!"

"I'd like you to supply me with a urine, faeces and sperm sample Mr Brooks."

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

One C Battery, Two Double A's.