Motivational Tool Collector Pillows

'Ted, I think we need to re-evaluate your carrot.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

The Hammer

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'And here's the toolkit.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

"Have somebody get rid of that!"

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

Handy-lion

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"