Motivational Sloth Gifts

"So now you're reading a book?"

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

"You know what I wish? I wish there was a foundation that gave grants just to lie fallow for a year or so."

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"I don't think they had you in mind when they invented the mobile device."

"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"

"There you are, dear. . . that's you all set to watch satuday night television now!"

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

"After the shark documentary there's a documentary on about two fat slobs who watch TV all day. Sounds good"

"We suck at this."

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."

'I know you're a deadly sin and everything, but I don't know...I still like hanging around with you anyway.'

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

'He wants us to wake him when something comes on that's aimed at his demographic.'

"Sorry for the delayed response. It's been a crazy week."

'Let me guess - you wife is still visiting her sister.'

'No, we don't have invisible fence, Dear. Grandpa's allowed to get out of the chair.'

Summer To Do List. . .

'Why don't you come over tonight and we'll watch the game together?'

'Winning the Lottery hasn't changed him one iota-he's still the same old,fat,bone idle git!'

'This T V guide is a repeat of the one published in July last year.'

'What's so annoying is that he seems to get such a kick out of it.'

Summer Sketches - Thirty-two degrees!!!...