Motivational Mischief-maker Pillows

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

Frankie the discount genie

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

'No pennies.'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

By the way, my foot's asleep. So, I guess an unscrupulous woman who wanted to play footsie with me could pretty much get away with murder right now. !

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'