Motivational Mischief-maker Pillows

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Newt sale

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

Frankie the discount genie

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'No pennies.'

'Norman, why is it you're the one who always gets detention.'

"So where's the baby cheeses we heard so much about?"

"The numbers just don't add up."

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'