Motivational Mirth Gifts

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Off Duty.

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Moo-Magrams Exams

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"Actually, that doesn't constitute a crime; but I do hope your wife returns your hopes and dreams."

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

It appears the robots have skipped consciousness and gone straight to self-consciousness.

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

'I've been here so often, they keep a room reserved for me.'

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

'No, your wife wasn't wearing clean underwear. She wasn't wearing any underwear at all.'

'You didn't go down with shi-ip! You didn't go down with the shi-ip!'

'OK, OK, you got me. YOu just couldn't let it go, could you.'

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

"Be the ball. Be the pins. Be the lane. Be the shoes."

"So are the results not very good?"