Motherly Wisdom Seeker Pillows

'Don't come crying to me, son. I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you stayed out in the sun all day.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

"Mother, you were right."

'There's got to be more to the Eightfold Path than 'don't worry, be happy.''

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

'I'm screwed...'

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

"Go ask your mother."

'What doesn't kill you, makes you a burden.'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"Live your life devoid of attachments."

"Fly over to the Grand Union and bring back the produce manager's tongue."

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

One final question: How do i get down from here without breaking a leg?

"Winners don't leave Yelp reviews."

"Don't make me come over there."

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

A mountain guru has a sign on his mountain for safe social distancing.

'I fired my motivational trainer and started listening to my mother.'

'I don't have time to answer individual questions, but you can subscribe to my PODCAST.'

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."