Motherly Advice Seeker Pillows

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Don't come crying to me, son. I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you stayed out in the sun all day.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

A Bug's Life Advice

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"Mother, you were right."

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"Go ask your mother."

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"Don't make me come over there."

'I fired my motivational trainer and started listening to my mother.'

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'

Greed

"Mother, I get enough pressure from my peer group without getting it from you."