Motherhood Escapism Gifts

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Desert Island BBQ

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Addicted to reading

"I'm so good at this!"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"

Open other end

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

Young Houdini

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

Egyptian Mummy/Egyptian Mummy and Toddler.

Biological Alarm Clock.

Proud mother and new maid

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

Waiting Room

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Single parents.

'She's the primary caregiver!'