Parenting Escapists Gifts

"Oh, we don't worry about the kids moving back in with us. We didn't leave a forwarding address."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

It's a Boy

Mother CareBaby Gap

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'I never believed in spanking children - until today!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

'You must stop feeding him fish oils to make him cleverer.'

Baby with projectile vomit

"It gets easier the second time."

'She is being impossible again.'

"No, son, there's no severance package."

'Cleanliness is next to...impossible.'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'Baby escape.'

Take your Daughter to Word Day

Temptation.

'May I borrow your hard hat? I'm going to try and go into the kids' room.'

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

"Beware of children."

"Now can we have an eating experience?"

Travelling with child Sketchbook - day 1

Train Your Dog with Victoria Stilwell

Mom? Any chance you could take the kids to your friend's lake cabin? Trying to get them out of your house? Roger. I want to put the vacate" back in vacation.