Parenting Escapists Mugs

"Oh, we don't worry about the kids moving back in with us. We didn't leave a forwarding address."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

Mother CareBaby Gap

It's a Boy

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Have you cleaned behind your ears?'

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'I never believed in spanking children - until today!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

'You must stop feeding him fish oils to make him cleverer.'

Baby with projectile vomit

"It gets easier the second time."

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'Cleanliness is next to...impossible.'

'She is being impossible again.'

"No, son, there's no severance package."

Take your Daughter to Word Day

'Baby escape.'

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'

'May I borrow your hard hat? I'm going to try and go into the kids' room.'

Temptation.

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

"Now can we have an eating experience?"

"Beware of children."

"We baby proofed the house, and it's my fault for not baby proofing you, dear."