Mother To Teen Gifts

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"How was prom?"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Spring Break.

'We've created a teenager!'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

Intermediate Slouching.

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

'He said he can't put his love for me into words because it exceeds the 140 characters allowed in a tweet.'

'Uranus!'

"I don't think so, Ted!"

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

Teenage Yoda

The swamp of adolescence

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

'Can you speak up? I can't hear anything over my music!'

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

The surrendered mom

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

"You'd better put that phone down before you walk into a wall."

"I'm bored. I think I'll post something online that destroys my career prospects."

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"Son, we're concerned about your partying."

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

"Megan is at that age where she's embarrassed to be seen shopping with her mother."