Motel Veteran Gifts

'Ecchh! Six weeks on the road! - Lousy food, lousy motels. . . but there's good, too. . . like heading back home.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

An aircraft marshal helps a limousine park

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'Oh, look, Billy's found a playmate.'

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

Room service.

Sparrow Hilton

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

"Any chance of some credit?"

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

Chamber Pot - En Suite

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

'Been there, done that' travel agency. Serving the seriously jaded tourist since 1995.

"Relax. You're the one who wanted to stay at a theme resort"

Agatha Christie slept in this room... or was it room 17?

"Due to heavy call volume, your wait time will be six years."

"Is that the corporate rate?"

"That's two 'ayes', two 'nays' and a 'whatever'."

Laughing man at Funfair "Out of Sorts"

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

"I take it everything is NOT all right."

"What happens on vacation... stays with you and will haunt you for the rest of your life."