Mortgage Jokers Pillows

Since we'll be paying this mortgage forever, it's only fitting we use a Forever stamp.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

Repossessions

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Life plan

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

Couple in sunglasses begging with a sign that reads - 'Holiday Homeless - Please help'.

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

'What's the difference between the IRS demanding money and a gang of thieves? The IRS has better stationery.'

IRS, 'You want a refund, do you? All right †be that way!'

"If you're worried about your retirement account, Ms. Mulvany, just read the crawl."

"Bloody building society keeps hassling us about the mortgage payment."

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."

When billionaires get depressed. I feel like a million bucks.

'I wish I had my money back...'

'Let's see, no current job, no job history, dicey credit report, congratulations Ed, you're approved!'

'Would you like the correct time and temperature with your transaction?'

'Okay, wipe that 30-year fixed scowl off your face, and give us your short-term adjustable grin!'

'And to my trusted banker, who made me what I am today, I leave my million dollar home and it's two million dollar mortgage.'

'Our mortgage is now owned by a guy named Lenny the Squid in bayonne, N.J.'

Dunloanin...bank manager.

Not expected to be easily approved for a mortgage.

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'

"I understand that you cannot support the whole economy, minister. I would be perfectly happy for you to support me!"

What am I doing? Oh just a little TBC. You know, Taking Care of Bailout.

"So what happens if we can't meet our monthly mortgage repayments?"