Morse Whisperer Gifts

"Try S instead of L."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Worm Charmer

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Opening the door to new customers

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

'I could eat you.'

Woman applying makeup

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

'Where are you going?'

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Product Testing Department

'Hey, I used that model once!'

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"Wow! Check out the body on this one."

'To be honest Bob, I'm very happy with my new career path.'

"You look different — did you do something to your tubercula pubertatis?"

"Good day at work..?"

'Well, Dad, you said for us to use our initiative to make money so we went into the worm business.'

I love geeks

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."