Morning Thinker T-Shirts

"What truth can there be, if there is only death?" "Too early for Tolstoy."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"This looks good, Jim, but we'd better run it by legal, Siri, and Alexa."

'I don't know why Doc, but my life is really upside down...'

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Don’t think of that tennis ball as lost. Think of it as finally free."

The power of the brain

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'I ink, therefore I am....'

Mums coffee morning

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

"You are responsible for editing your thoughts. I'm just here to audit them."

"Already my computer is outmoded, but i try to tell myself that my computer isn't ME."

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?