Morning Strugglers Pillows

"Don't you have a snooze button?"

'Can you reset this rooster somehow? -- They transferred me to the night shift.'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Man Finally Gets out of Bed.

'Look, I can get up bright, or I can get up early - I can't do both!'

'They say women are the weaker sex, but have you ever tried getting a duvet off your wife at three in the morning?'

Alarm

"Coffee doesn't get me out of bed in the morning. I need a direct short from a defibrillator."

Back to work...

"How about a little more coffee?"

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

'Sorry I'm late - My sundial didn't go off.'

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

Clive would be lost without his morning heart starter.

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"It's someone's turn to make the coffee..."

Eye Opener

'Was the class too early for you?'

'It's a true real scientific fact! If I don't open my eyes, today will go away!'

In the Days Before Coffee

Monday Checklist.

Monday 5:30 am

George was not a morning person.

'I'm running late again this morning...' - '...in the vain hope that somebody will fire me.' - 'Gah. My life is ridiculous.'

"I have no trouble falling asleep and I have no trouble waking up. I just need to switch when they happen."

"One of you will have to remain behind."

"I hate a sarcastic cup of coffee."

"...were in fact not victims but just had a really, really hard time getting out of bed this morning."

'Was the interview too early for you?'

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."