Morning Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

What, you've never seen coffee with a worm in it? The Too-Early Bird.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"They're comfortable."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"She wishes to range free!"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

How Amazon was invented

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."