Morning Glam Pillows

Good Hair Day

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Future garbage truck driver.

Diamond outfits

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Elton John

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Shirley MacLaine caricature

Vanity artist

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

'Fake tan, fake hair, fake boobs, - You sound like the real deal - you're hired.'

Modern day mirror.

"So what's your success rate?"

A Head-Dress in 1777

Liu Wen

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

'Can we do a quick respray to match her super new outfit?'

"Looks like it's going to be a nice day."

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

'Well, Hawkins, I see you made it to work on time.'

Botox!

'Ok, ok... I'm coming but with all those CCTV camera about I like to look my best.'

'Quick, the coffee!'

You wake up and face the crack of dawn. I wake up and face the crack of Ralph.

"Your credit score is lower than your golf score, even with your handicap."

'Why is it you spend hours plucking out your eyebrows...Then you draw them back in again

Formal Wednesday: 'Where's your tiara?'

'You mean that's all you ever read, designer labels?'

"Dad, this is Bret. Bret, this is Dad."

Don't be Alarmed Clock

"I want you to know there's a song in my heart this morning."

'Where do you keep the coffee cups, the sugar, the cream, the two eggs over light, and the morning paper?'

'Come in, Helen's just putting her face on.'

Dachsunds prefer blondes.