Morality Lecturer Gifts

'The Age - Morality Gap'

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Eat my dust!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Slavery Reparations

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

Caption Contest TK

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

Nun Binning the Devil

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Recruitment of excutives at 'Wynem, Dynem & Dunkem, Inc.'.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Memory Content is King

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

Ethics ethics.