Moral Maven T-Shirts

'No, sorry, money is the root of all evil!'

Muscles

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"Arthur, I need my space."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

Post-psychoanalysis

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Body Building Mishap

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'Do you mind if I take the rest of the session to get your input on investor psychology?'

Mass Confucian

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"And he's a nutritional-support animal, too."